sekadar meluahkan

bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

assalamualaikum.

sejujurnya, banyak benda yang sedang dalam fikiran sekarang ni. mungkin post kali ni more to 'curhat' thingy dan saya tak kesah pon kalau anda2 nak tekan button x kat kanan atas tu.

.....

things happen. a lot.

there was a time where I opened this book; borrowed from one of my beloved sister and I came across this very first verse ;

al-'ilmu nurun wa nurullahi la yuhda li ashin
sesungguhnya ilmu adalah cahaya, dan cahaya Allah takkan datang kepada seorang yang berbuat maksiat.

Allahu rabbi. I was repeatedly digesting those words. ilmu.cahaya.maksiat. those that i faced everyday! I realised that I'd lost 'my way' lately. I'd been occupied by the dunya, the one which I've been tested over and over again. well that is a sign that I haven't past the test right? :(  I looked down, flashbacking all those things that I've done wrong. intentionally. and there were lots of them. O Allah, forgive me. for not fully devoting myself to You. :(

....

by means of ilmu, it covers lots of aspects. most importantly, ilmu Allah itself which I'd like to focus; our guidance, the Quran. have you come across a time where when you read the Quran, you feel nothing. empty. where hati macam tak tersentuh pon dengan ayat-ayat cinta dari sang Pencipta. or hati tak dapat nak extract hikmah disebalik ayat-ayat yang penuh makna tu. naudzubillah. sedangkan, sifat al-Quran adalah memberi. Quran will gives us what we want, provided that we opened our heart, lillahi ta'ala. and so, we shall think hardly; what have we done lately? how is our worship towards God? how is our mutabaah amal? lopongkah mereka ? how about our prayers? do we bring our heart and soul and sincerely devoting them during the shalah? there are so many questions to ask back then, right? hmm. banyakkan muhasabah kot.

....

and when i read yours, i could feel tears running. I was grateful though, for you to find your way. alhamdulillah. it was really inspiring. seriously. to be honest, I was a bit lost this past few days. and when i read those, i was like ... 'tersentap'. hmm. how and what I feel the rest, let it just be secret; between Him and me. but sincerely, I am touched. really am. :']

....

' Allah (pemberi) cahaya (kepada) langit dan bumi. Perumpamaan cahaya-Nya seperti sebuah lubang yang tidak tembus yang di dalamnya ada pelita besar. Pelita itu di dalam tabung kaca, (dan) tabung kaca itu bagaikan bintang yang berkilauan, yang dinyalakan dengan minyak dari pohon yang diberkahi, (iaitu) pohon zaitun yang tumbuh tidak di timur dan tidak pula di barat, yang minyaknya (saja) hampir-hampir menerangi, walaupun tidak disentuh api. Cahaya di atas cahaya (berlapis-lapis). Allah memberi petunjuk kepada cahaya-Nya bagi orang yang Dia kehendaki, dan Allah membuat perumpamaan-perumpamaan bagi manusia. Dan Allah Maha Mengetahui segala sesuatu'

(24:35)

frm google

notakaki :
 semoga Allah mengurniakan cahaya-Nya kepada saya, kepada kita semua.  dan semoga kita dapat menyerap cahaya tu :)
luruskan niat kami Ya Allah. 
teguhkan, tetapkan hati kami di jalan-Mu Ya Rabb.
semoga saya, awk, kita, istiqamah. (doing the good deeds)

and. please be nice to me. am adapting myself to this.